The Silent Night of Santa Claus

It was a lovely winter night. Steam was flying out of mouths of the reindeer speeding in the freezing air. Fresh white snow was crunching under the runners. The town looked fabulous in the moonlight with its little streets and cosy houses, roofs and gardens, lawns and trees all covered with the white snow. Windows were dark and everything seemed quiet, as all people already went to sleep. Santa Claus smiled at the sight as his sleigh rode across the town. He stopped a few streets later, stretched his arms and looked around. 'Wait for me here, my deer reindeer' - he said, and unloaded a heavy bag from his sleigh. The old man lifted it with effort, placed on his back and walked towards the nearby house.

A little boy called Calvin was waiting here for his toy. 'In few moments he shall get it', thought Santa as he prepared to jump into the chimney. Yes, chimney. Chimney? But wait a minute, where is his favourite entrance? The house had no chimney! 'No chimney, look at that', he turned his head in disbelief? 'No chimney. So what? Big deal' - thought the red man. 'That sure can't stop me'. Santa Claus walked around the house looking for a possible solution. And then he found it! A little top window was slightly opened. Piece of cake! He whispered a spell and slowly sailed up. In just a few seconds he was there trying to put his hand inside. But as soon as his hand crossed the invisible line of the house interior his ears soared in a sudden unbearably loud sound. Yellow light was fiercely turning around. Shocked and completely panicked Santa lost his concentration. Falling down did really hurt. He stood up, grabbed his bag and quickly run away. When he was good few hundred yards from the house he stopped, and rubbing his sore bottom looked at the little house. Seems Calvin will not get his toy today. Well, the heck, he wasn't that good after all.

Of course a little failure like that couldn't put Santa Claus off. Soon he was approaching another lovely house. His heart was already warm with love towards the lovely little siblings who lived there. 'Matt and Charlotte, worry not, here I am with some great toys for you'! Santa jumped onto the roof with one smooth move and knitted his brows at the sight of the chimney. It was unusually small and thin. Interested he moved his hand towards the chimney's mouth, yes it was hot and there was some smoke coming out, so it seemed to work. 'Well, everything changes, that's called the progress' – he thought. He used a special spell to extinguish the fire, shrunk, slimmed (fast) and disappeared inside. It didn't take even a second as he burst out with long-drawn-out scream of pain. 'What was that thing?!' The fire was down but there was no way to get out, and it was so bloody hot inside! He should have known better. That's why the chimney was so strange! It was a chimney of a boiler! Santa quickly sat on the snow to ease his pain. It took a few minutes for him to calm down. Should he try to find another way in? Matt and Charlotte were waiting… Well, to hell with them. They caused their parents a lot of troubles, and were not that good after all.

Santa Claus was walking through the snow, and thinking. Sure such a little failure shouldn't put him off. Another house was nearby. A little, beautiful girl named Sally awaited there. She was a good girl according to his records, and so she deserved a toy. But after the last try he lost a bit of his enthusiasm. Still… Three times a charm. He will give it a one more try. When he was there he looked carefully. No windows were open. A strange thin chimney like before. But wait, also a normal, usual chimney was there! Finally! Now the fun begins. With his enthusiasm and hope coming back to his heart he landed next to it. He readjusted his back and when he was ready to jump he cast the spell. At the very last moment he realized something was wrong. The heat and some light were still going out of the mouth. What the hell? He looked inside and repeated the charm. Still no change. Carefully he put his head inside. Was there a real fire? No… it seemed electric. That explained a lot. So he couldn't use the entrance, again. Then he heard a quiet noise behind. He turned around and saw a beautiful black cat, staring straight at him. Santa stretched his hand towards his unexpected companion. He loved cats and cats loved him. The cat started to purr. Then out of sudden Santa lost his balance and felt down. Again. Second time this night. His bag hit the ground next to him. That was clearly enough. Seems Sally will not get her toy. Well, was she really that good?

He was trying to stand up with intention to go straight back to his beloved reindeer when the doors opened slightly with a little creak. A small head appeared in the door frame. 'Will you get in? I wouldn't like you to hurt yourself' – Sally said. Not everything was lost after all. Santa slowly entered the house and looked around the saloon. Electric fireplace was pretending the real fire. Huge and nicely decorated Christmas tree was standing in the corner, lit by colourful lights. Beautiful, cosy, what a great atmosphere – his mood was improving quickly. Then the girl asked: 'So you are that actor hired by my parents? Where is my Wii?' 'What? I am not an actor! I am Santa Claus!' 'Yeah. Now you will try to make me believe in Santa. And what else, dwarfs maybe? Do I look like stupid?' 'Hey, Sally – you see – I know your name. How would I know it if I wasn't the Santa?' 'Of course you know it. My parents have told you. So where is my Wii?' 'Wee? Do you want a wee? Why wont you just…' 'Hey, please don't play stupid. It offends my intelligence. Just give it to me and we both will be happier. Don't you have another assignments? Well, maybe not if we look at you…' 'Yes, I have a toy for you. It is truly great. It's somewhere here' – he was searching the bag with his hand. 'Here it is' – he took out and proudly presented a big wooden doll. 'What? What is it? Was I not good or what?' – the girl seemed very disappointed, and a bit angry. 'Oh, now I will have to have a serious conversation with my parents. First they send an old, poorly dressed, clumsy actor, who insists that he is the Santa Claus. Then this. C'mon, did they really ask you to give me this, or did you steal my Wii for you children?' 'Steal your wee? Don't be absurd. And look, that's a really great toy. It's made of real best quality wood from the North Pole. Hand-made, by dwarfs.' 'There are no trees on the North Pole, stupid. And no dwarfs. Do you suggest Santa too exploits children, paying them peanuts for their labour?' 'I don't pay them at all, they work with enthusiasm, because they love their work and children.' 'Yeah, sure. That's called slavery!' 'Ok, enough. Do you want your toy or not?' 'Well… it doesn't look too good, does it? Sure I will not show it to my mates at school' – the girl seemed to be thinking aloud. 'But ok, if it is so important to you. My parents have paid for that after all. But you say you are the real Santa. So you are from Finland. If not Nintendo then couldn't you bring me at least a good phone from Nokia?' – she decided to give it a last try. 'I am not from Finland, but from Lapland, stupid. And if you don't want it you won't. Open the door for me please' – Santa was over the edge. Then the door bell ringed. Sally went to answer and the man put the doll back to his bag and listened. 'Hello, officer Kelly Kruger from the City Police. Sorry for coming so late, but I saw the light. Did you see anything suspicious?' 'And what would that be officer, has anything happened?' 'We had a call about a burglar dressed for Father Christmas trying to get to a nearby house.' 'A burglar dressed for Father Christmas? On the Christmas night? That would be so creative. A burglar. But wait a minute… A burglar!' When they both burst into the living room all they saw was a wide opened window with curtains moving slowly in the cold night air.

.....

Santa was so angry he hardly could see. He was walking hurriedly trying to calm down. Sally was such a stupid, arrogant chit. What have happened to children nowadays? She didn't like his toys. She wanted a wee. Phi, how a wee can be better than his great hand-made toys? And she thought he was from Finland. Sure she couldn't be good in geography. Stupid smarty pants, he thought. She completely spoiled his humour. And he seemed to be completely out of luck tonight. Another failure. He angrily kicked a nearby stone. The silence was cut by the sound of breaking glass. That shook him out of thinking. 'The police. They still are nearby. I should better hurry' - he said to himself and run towards his sleigh. And then he saw something that struck him with amazement and anger. Nothing like that has happened in hundreds of years. This people clearly had no respect! One of his runners was... clamped. Right, the nearby board said something about residents only, but that was a Christmas night, and he was the Santa Claus! He really had enough. First all that failures, then Sally, and now this. It overfilled the cup of anger. If a few seconds ago he was not sure what to do, now he had no doubts. 'Spadaj durna klemo, spieprzaj dziadu!' - he shouted one of the most powerful and mysterious ancient Lappish spells. The clamp disappeared. He swung his bag to the back of his vehicle and grabbed the reins. 'Wiśta!' – he commanded. 'Go my dear reindeer! Fly away! Fly towards home, to the North Pole!' Reindeer started rapidly, snow burst from their hoofs. The sleigh turned around in the air and in just a few seconds disappeared in the sky.

This Christmas all children waited for the Santa Claus in vain. None of them got their long-awaited presents. But a lot of them had a wee.

Happy Holiday!

It was a lovely winter evening. The main shopping street was full of colourful lights, snow flakes dancing in the air, laughter and hubbub of the pre-Christmas rush. Nothing seemed to be able to disturb it.

Santa Claus was full of energy. He was rubbing his hands with excitement and rushing his legs while approaching the town centre with its beautiful shopping street. This year he couldn't stand waiting for, as they called it jokingly in his Lappish headquarters, the Great Final so he left a few days early and decided to see what's happening in the city. Yet he was not fully prepared for the amazing view that appeared when he took the last turn. He could not help but to stop and gasp with amazement. The street was richly lit and decorated, Christmas trees were placed everywhere, colourful stars were looking at him from shopping windows full of wonderful presents. Beautiful music could be heard from all the directions. Most of people wore red hats with white pompoms, children were screaming with excitement while dragging parents from one shop to another or to one of a plenty of man dressed like... him. He didn't notice it at first but the street was full of fake Santa Clauses, sitting next to Christmas trees with huge heaps of colourful boxes with presents. Well... it certainly couldn't put him off. He was the real one, and so he had nothing to fear from his wishy-washy competition. He readjusted his huge backpack and walked with confidence to one of few empty places, that were not used by ubiquitous disguise wearers. Now he just had to wait for his beloved children that will soon surround him with laughter, delight, rhymes, and happiness.

Yet something was wrong. Not quite as he expected. Children seemed not interested in him, while still gathering around the other red-dressed men. What was going on? A small girl was running just next to him - 'Hey little girl, Merry Christmas!' - he shouted. She didn't even slow down or look at him. 'Hey boy, yes you! Merry Christmas! What, don't go there, come to Santa...' Too late, the boy was gone. 'Hey miss, do your children want to see Santa?' No response. '祝圣诞节快乐！' - tried desperately towards a Chinese lady passing nearby. Still no luck. WTF? He looked around once again. A nearby shopping window reflected his statue. And then he realised. His old dress that served him for so many years was a bit dim and worn-out. Nothing to compare with the fresh and vivid redness of the fakers (or should he rather say f...ers?). He didn't have colourful boxes. His toys were all the best quality, hand-made from real Scandinavian wood, best for children development. Yet they didn't look so catchy. He definitely needed a promotion. 'Ho ho ho!!! Merry Christmas Everybody!!!' shouted with his loud and deep voice. Several people looked at him. 'Merry Christmas!!!' repeated even louder. Some people looked at him with disguise. And then rushed even further from him. 'Merry Christmas!!!' - the last try. Same reaction. One guy even tapped his forehead. So it was a time for the change of plan. He took several toys out of his backpack. 'Hey boy, want a toy?' Stretched his arm holding a wooden reindeer towards a little boy. All he got was a shrug of the shoulders. 'Merry Christmas to you'. 'Hey girl a doll for you?' - asked a girl dressed in pink. The girl stepped closer, looked at the doll and then said - 'That's not a Barbie. Thanks, but do I look like I collect wooden trash? Happy Holiday, grandpa'. And she turned her back.

Suddenly someone tapped his arm. He looked back and struck down. A couple of policemen - a young woman and an older man - were looking down at him. 'Hey old man, get up'! 'What is it, officer'? - he asked. 'Several people complained that you were shouting offensive words'. 'Me???'. 'Yes you. Were you not saying Merry Christmas'? 'Yes, but, for God's sake, what's wrong with that??'. 'What's wrong with that???' - the young officer looked like stung by a wasp. 'You hurt religious feelings of some of our citizens, that's what's wrong!'. 'But my dear child, I just said...'. 'We know all too well what you have said! Such a lack of thoughtfulness and disrespect to other religions! You should have said Happy Holiday! And if you call me like that again you will be charged for sexual harassment with a tendency to pedophilia!'. 'What? Sexual harassment? Pedophilia? But I am the Santa Claus... and it is not just a holiday, it's Christmas!'. One look at her face was enough to realize that now he have evidently said too much. 'Enough!' - said the lady. 'You have admitted to the hatred speech and now you will go with us' - she reached for the handcuffs. 'Hatred speech, give me a brake...' - he whimpered with the last remaining of his suddenly disappearing energy, his voice was thin and quiet. 'Yes, we know people like you. It starts with disrespect and offending people of other religions, and then it goes to criticism of the most fundamental human rights and values, like euthanasia, abortion, marriages of same gender and their right to the adoption of children. I am glad we have prevented this, you fascist!'. Then they took him under his arms and dragged him to the police car, which slowly moved towards the road and soon disappeared. It was a lovely winter evening. The main shopping street was full of colourful lights, snow flakes dancing in the air, laughter and hubbub of the pre-Christmas rush. The peace was back. Now really nothing and nobody could disturb it.

....

Strong light dispersed the darkness of the forest road and soon the police car stopped near a small clearing a few hundred yards from the border of the city. The massive steel door moved aside with long creaking. A man's voice broke the silence. 'Uncuff him!'. 'But Sir, he has just...' - a female protested. 'Uncuff him!' - repeated the man with voice that demanded full obedience - 'That's an order'. And then the man said quietly with much warmer tone 'I used to love when you came to me during Christmas' - the tone of voice got even warmer towards the end of the sentence, as if the man smiled on this memory. 'But now Santa, please just go. And stay away from troubles'. Soon the car turned around and disappeared in the night leaving the old man alone with his heavy backpack and thoughts.